mal schauen, wie lange ich brauche 🙂
- Adjust the tint on your TV surface.
- Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
- Staple papers in the middle of the page.
- Ask 800 operators for dates.
- Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
- Sew anti-theft detector strips into people’s backpacks.
- Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
- Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
- Specify that your drive-through order is „to go“.
- Set alarms for random times.
- Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of „Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip…“
- Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
- Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
- Leave your NIN tape in Great Uncle Ed’s stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a „croaking“ noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Dress only in clothes colored Hunter’s Orange.
- Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
- Tape pieces of „Sweatin‘ to the Oldies“ over climactic parts of rental movies.
- Wear your pants backwards.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
- Begin all your sentences with „ooh la la!“
- Leave someone’s printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
- Steal a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Pay for your dinner with pennies.
- Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
- Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
- Write „X – BURIED TREASURE“ in random spots on all of someone’s roadmaps.
- Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ
- Simpson conspiracy theories.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: „Do you hear that?“ „What?“
- „Never mind, it’s gone now.“
- Light road flares on a birthday cake.
- Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
- Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
- Demand that everyone address you as „Conquistador“.
- Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
- At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
- When christmas caroling, sing „Jingle Bells, Batman smells“ until physically restrained.
- Wear a cape that says „Magnificent One“.
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
- Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
- Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
- Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin.
- When nearly done, announce „no, wait, I messed it up“, and repeat.
- Name your dog „Dog“.
- Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- Reply to everything someone says with „that’s what YOU think.“
- Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
- Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
- Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don’t want to fall off „in case the big one comes“.
- Sculpt your hedges into anatomically suggestive shapes.
- Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
- Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers‘ brains, such as
- „Feliz Navidad,“ the Archies‘ „Sugar“ or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Leave your christmas lights up and lit until September.
- Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it’s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.
- Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
- Wear a LOT of cologne.
- Ask to „interface“ with someone.
- Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your „superior mental processing“.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Mow your lawn with scissors.
- At a golf tournament, chant „swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!“
- Finish all your sentences with the words „in accordance with prophesy“.
- Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your „imaginary friend“.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about „psychological profiles“.
- Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as „sticky wicket isn’t cricket.“
- Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a „magic picture“.
- Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
- Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
- Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
- Never make eye contact.
- Never break eye contact.
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Make appointments for the 31st of September.
- Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.
Veröffentlicht von larsschiefelbein 
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